Fear. It’s a major obstacle preventing people from traveling solo. Whether it may be fear of flying, fear of possible dangers, or fear of loneliness, it prevents us from pushing the purchase button on our solo flight. In my opinion, traveling solo is the ideal activity to undertake to alter aspects of your life, and I have proof to support this claim: myself. I know first hand the confidence, independence, and problem solving skills traveling by yourself provides, as you are entirely dependent on yourself, your choices, and your decisions. Perhaps it is this which prevents us from pushing the purchase button on our solo flight. I can think of no other aspect of my life which I am entirely the pilot of, which is why I had to overcome fear to travel alone in order to better myself.
Firstly, let’s discuss in depth the obstacles preventing people from traveling solo and later address the ways in which one can overcome them with the final goal as traveling solo.
Leisure Constraint Theory
Leisure Constraint Theory is a concept addressing limitations which “inhibit people’s ability to participate in leisure activities, to spend more time doing so, to take advantage of leisure services, or to achieve a desired level of satisfaction” (Jackson, 1988, p. 203). Such constraints have been classified by Crawford and Godbey (1987) into three categories: structural, intrapersonal, and interpersonal. Structural constraints are defined as factors which hinder leisure preference and participation including lack of time, insufficient funds, or limited access to transportation. Intrapersonal constraints are defined as psychological states and attitudes limiting leisure participation including lack of self-confidence, reference group, or abilities. Interpersonal constraints are defined as an individual’s social interactions such as friends, family members, and even a lack of suitable leisure companions. Crawford, Jackson, and Godbey (1991) proposed that these three constraints are experienced in a specific order where Intrapersonal is experienced first followed by Interpersonal and finally Structural. Subsequent leisure participation only occurs when all three constraints are dealt with.
Solutions to Contraints
Although the constraints discussed above could seem disconcerting, I will address how to overcome them with the final goal as traveling solo from my perspective as a solo female traveller.
- Interpersonal- individual’s social interactions such as friends and family members.
When I decided to take my very first solo travel, every person I told my plans to said “are you sure traveling alone is safe?” or “wow, you’re so brave to travel by yourself. I would never be able to do that.” Even my family stressed about my movements asking for checkins constantly, knowing if I were to miss one, the police, fire department, FBI, homeland security, and most likely the president himself would be out searching for my body. Of course over the years, these comments subsided, but in the beginning, when traveling solo was not easy for me, having these comments constantly heightened the already present fear and nervousness. Most likely, the only reason I was able to leave on that first trip was because I already purchased the ticket and didn’t want to waste what little money I had.
Furthermore, society ingrains in us that alone means abnormal, weak, or even lonely. People fear that going into a restaurant alone will give the impression of being friendless or going to a movie solo conveys sadness. In fact, it it the opposite, conveying strength and independence. Not all friends or partners have the same taste in restaurants or movies and instead of giving them up for a lack of a companion, going alone shows courage and self-sufficiency.
By nature, I am a very cautious person. I analyze a situation, do plenty of background research, and contemplate the pros and cons. However, traveling smart doesn’t replace fun. Having the most intense adventures doesn’t always mean high risk. Although there are inherent dangers in extreme sports, executing them in a safe and smart manner can minimize the risks. With the proper preparation and precautions, influences from friends and family will subside and when they realize this, comments will cease all together.
- Structural constraints- factors which hinder leisure preference and participation including lack of time, insufficient funds, or limited access to transportation.
Anyone who has ever done a PhD or who is aquatinted with someone doing one, knows PhD students are basically slaves, working for almost no money. During my PhD I travelled almost every weekend and took several, over 2 week long trips a year without sacrificing work or travel indulgences such as eating out at nice restaurants, participating in high thrill activities, or staying at hotels instead of 8-bed hostels. With planning, budgeting, and prioritising, the constraint of insufficient funds can be overcome. In order to support my travel lifestyle, I ate cereal for most dinners, hardly went out to drink or eat with my friends at bars, and I never went shopping except for necessary equipment for my activities. Although this may seem extreme and might not be the right solution for some, the experiences I had on my expeditions were well worth the sacrifices I made in order to obtain them.
Work planning is also essential to address time constraints. Knowing your work schedule as well as marking all holidays for the year in advance, allows you to choose the best time to fly for your personal schedule as well as which days to take off to maximize your vacation time. With the surge of budget airlines and multi-site computing platforms, finding the lowest prices for airfares is simple and easy. Google Flights is my go-to multi-site computing platform as you can search multiple departure airports, daily fares can be calculated and compared in monthly views in order to find the cheapest day to fly, the interactive map allows for quick and easy destination exploration and fare comparison when you are not committed to a specific place, and finally its tracking feature allows fares to be monitored and alerts sent indicating fare increases or decreases. Cross comparing other multi-site computing platforms like Skyscanner, Kayak, or Expedia ensures finding the lowest fares. Limited access to transportation is a very easy constraint to overcome. City destinations always offer public transportation such as buses or trains and choosing a hotel or BnB relatively close to the center or near a bus/metro stop will increase flexibility and relieve the pressure of transportation. Renting a car for outside city destinations and adventures is basically a necessity. However, renting is both easy and can be cheap. Expedia is my go-to site for car rentals as they almost always have the lowest price for weekend rentals. Keep in mind the type of car which is appropriate for your destination, the milage included, insurance, whether or not you can drive a manual transmission, and the deposit amount. The two rental companies I rent from often are Europcar and Budget/Avis because the prices are usually the cheapest, the deposits are very low between €100-300, milage is usually unlimited, and they tend to have newer and more gas efficient models (very important in Europe, where gas price is insanely high). Please keep in mind that this information can change between cities, states, and countries so using these multi-site searching platforms are a good idea. When comparing sites, change the location country, for example, using Expedia.com will always give a higher price for the same rental as compared to Expedia.it.
An interactive map allows for quick and easy destination exploration and fare comparison when you are not committed to a specific place. Also search multiple departure airports and track the prices of flights found.
Rental car using “expedia.com” USA site and “expedia.it” Italian site comparison.
- Intrapersonal constraints are psychological states and attitudes limiting leisure participation including lack of self-confidence, reference group, or abilities.
Intrapersonal constraints are the purpose of this article. It seems a paradox that you need self-confidence to travel solo yet traveling solo gives you self-confidence. As I have stated earlier, traveling solo becomes effortless over time where every trip is slightly easier than the previous one. Taking things one step at a time can help ease yourself into traveling solo. Joining communities where likeminded explorers can find and meet similar travelers, like the Travel Companion Community, is a great way to start this process. By intermixing a solo travel with a few trips accompanied by a travel companion, like the one I did visiting the Friulian dolomites to revel in Italian wine and swim in wild mountain gorges, will gradually habituate yourself to traveling solo. Every travel teaches important lessons where there is no such thing as a perfect trip. Understanding that things will go wrong/not to plan or that getting lost is normal will relieve the pressure and stress. While preparation is important, it is just as important to have no plan at all. Exploring places and deciding on the spot the next activity is extremely freeing and satisfying.
In the beginning, it’s extremely important and necessary to push yourself to take the first solo travel even when the confidence is missing or fear is paralyzing. The initial courage will be rewarded with a wonderful adventure, and overtime, the confidence to take any type of trip solo grows and the confidence to travel and self-confidence becomes indistinguishable.
Discover the newest addition to the To Bend the Throttle community!
I’ve created Travel Companion Community with the hopes that other awesome adventurers will connect with one another and share their passion for exploration.
About the Author
Hello fellow adventurers, I’m Alessandra, a Biochemist originally from Boston and an exuberant daredevil with a sharp sense of humor and a passion for exploration. I desire traveling the world and creating daring and unexpected experiences. This site, To Bend the Throttle, is intended to divulge how everyone can incorporate travel and adventure into their busy life.